and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
