um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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