Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
