Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Randomize
