11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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