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What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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