I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
