This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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