Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
