We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
