i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
