she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
