I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize