So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i think my cat just said my name.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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