omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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