But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
