i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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