Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize