You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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