mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
