u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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