It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
