And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
