What a fucking waste of an outfit
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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