MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
