What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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