Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have feelings that need drinking.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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