Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
