he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
