Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
