that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
