this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
