He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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