im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so that wasnt chicken after all
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
