mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
