Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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