Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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