If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
