I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize