Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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