You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize