oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just invented taco cereal.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
