u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
