2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize