life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
