I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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