Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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