I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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