my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
