I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
