my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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