Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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