I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
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He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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