if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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