You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
