Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
