The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
