I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
why do cheetos always look like penises
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
