he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
