after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
