grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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