oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
