haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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