Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
